12 Years Of Christmas
by nothing-rhymes-with-ianto
Summary: Twelve years of Christmases with Brian, Justin and Gus, and sometimes the gang. Starts when Gus is seven years old. For qaf giftxchange challenge on LJ.


This was written for the qaf_giftxchange challenge on LJ. This gift was for bidyke73. It starts when Gus is seven years old and goes through twelve different Decembers.

**

* * *

1.**

"Brian."

"Mmmf."

"Brian. Brian get up." A pillow sailed through the air and smacked Brian in the back of the head.

"Ugh. What the hell? It's Christmas, can't I sleep?"

"Seriously? You are aware that you ask me this every year, right? Thank god I'm coming home for good in eight months. Then you'll never be able to sleep through any holidays. No, you cannot sleep. We need to go to Debbie's for brunch and presents." Justin leaned over his lover and gave him a kiss beside his ear. "And to see your son," he whispered sweetly.

"Fine." Brian reached up a hand and tugged himself upright using Justin's shoulder.

"Good boy."

"Only if you join me in the shower."

Justin groaned, torn between getting to Deb's early and getting his morning fuck. With a sigh, he tossed his shirt onto the bed and followed Brian, unbuttoning his pants as he went.

* * *

"Are we going to stand outside all day while you gather the courage to open the fucking door? It's just family. Just like any other dinner we've ever had."

"You know how much I hate the holidays."

"Oh, grow a pair. Come on, Brian. No? Fine. I'll do it." He pushed past his lover and knocked on the door, steeling himself for a suffocating hug from Debbie, which occurred seconds later as she yelled out "Sunshine!" and threw her arms around his neck.

"Hi, Deb." They were ushered inside for another round of hugs from the rest of the family.

Greetings all around. Everyone was smiling. Gus came barreling down the stairs to greet his father, love and excitement beaming from his face. "Daddy!"

"Hey, Sonnyboy!" Brian swung his son into the air. "Oof, you're getting big. How old are you now, Gus?" He scrunched up his face, pretending not to know.

"I'm seven!" Gus held up seven fingers, squirming a little until Brian put him down. Then he noticed Justin and launched himself at the blonde. "Jus'sin!"

"Hey, Gus!" Justin knelt down and kissed Gus on the cheek. Gus kissed him back wetly, and then he was off again.

"So, brunch first and then presents, or presents first and then brunch?" Debbie asked.

"Justin needs to eat something before we do presents or else he might eat the entire Christmas tree."

"Then head on over to the table, everyone!" They all surrounded the table, squashed together in mismatched chairs. Gus sat snug between Brian and Justin. They all chattered and laughed, smiles all around. Even Brian was in a good mood, talking gently to his lover and his son.

"Mommy, I want to give Daddy his present first!" Gus cried out as everyone began to clear the dishes and head over to the living room area.

Lindsay gave Melanie a grin and nodded as Gus plunked himself down in Brian's lap, his butt on Brian's thighs, his feet stretched out in front of him on Justin's lap. He was practically vibrating with excitement as Lindsay reached under the tree and handed him a flat parcel wrapped in shiny silver paper.

"Here, Daddy! Open it!" he thrust the package at his father, who took it with a small smile.

"Okay, Sonnyboy. I'm opening it." He slipped his finger under the taped-down fold and released the edge with a smooth sideways motion. Tipping the opening upside down, he shook out a small bundle of papers tied together with a red ribbon. He untied them and read them over. Justin watched Brian's face as it went from vaguely interested to surprised to touched to elated to a soft amazement. Brian's hands were shaking and his face was aglow.

"Really? Do you mean this? Are these documents real?" His voice vibrated slightly with emotion.

"Of course they're real, Daddy!"

"Yes, they are. We're moving back home in six months." Lindsay smiled.

A shine of elated tears glassed Brian's eyes, and he smiled. "I…thanks. Thank you." He hugged Gus tightly. "Thank you so much, Gus."

The family watched the scene, tears in their own eyes. Suddenly Brian looked up from his embrace with his son. "I'm having a moment here, let me have it in peace. Go open your own presents."

Debbie gave a snort and began playing Santa, handing presents from under the tree to the respective recipients.

Justin moved down to sit on the floor and watched Brian, who was sitting on the couch with Gus in his lap, grinning like a fool, for the rest of the morning. His fingers itched to draw the look of unrestrained joy on his lover's face, and he finally slipped off the couch and up to his and Michael's old room in order to find a sketch pad and pencils in the desk.

Brian was smiling at Gus in a gentle, open, joyful way that Justin had only ever seen once before, even if he could only remember it in sort of vague images, the way one remembers a dream. Justin flipped open his sketchbook and began to draw. He sketched a few quick little scenes of Brian and Gus, then began to work on one in more detail. He looked up when he felt Brian's gaze on him. The little jerk of Brian's head told him to come over, and he did, snuggling into Brian's side.

"Hey, Gus." Gus crawled over so that he was sitting on both of their laps.

"Hi, Jus'sin. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you, buddy." Gus grinned at him, then gave an excited little squeak and began to explain to him all of the presents he'd gotten from Santa.

* * *

Debbie and Lindsay walked back into the living room area from the kitchen, laughing at a story Debbie was telling about one of Michael's Christmases. Suddenly, Debbie stopped laughing and put a finger to her lips, pointing in the direction of the couch. Brian and Justin sat cuddled on the sofa, hands intertwined, sound asleep. Gus lay across both of their laps, with his head in Brian's, snoring quietly. Justin's other hand was held by Gus, and Brian's free hand carded gently through his sons thick auburn hair.

Lindsay sighed softly at the scene before. "Jesus, they're…"

"He missed having his boys around. He really loves them both, more than anything, I guarantee it."

They headed back into the kitchen, talking softer now. Once they had retreated back into the other room, Brian's eyes opened and he nuzzled gently at Justin's cheek. He kissed his lover gently on the temple and gazed down at his son. Justin stirred a bit, just barely waking up.

"I'm so glad to have you two back in my life. My Sunshine and my Sonnyboy."

Justin shifted slightly in Brian's embrace, reaching up and kissing Brian's jaw gently, a small smile on his lips even though his eyes were still closed. Then they snuggled together again and allowed themselves to drift back into a comfortable sleep, surrounded by the ones they loved.

**2.**

"Hey, Mommy?"

"Yes, Gus?" Lindsay looked at her son, pushing her inventory descriptions from the gallery away from her.

"Why don't Daddy and Jus'sin get married?"

"Not everyone wants to get married, Love. Marriage is just a way of promising in front of everybody that you will love each other forever." Lindsay didn't really want to get into the details and complications of explaining marriage to her son, even if he was eight years old and incredibly smart. She barely understood marriage herself, even after nearly seven years of it. "And Daddy and Justin's friends already know that they love each other. So Daddy and Justin don't feel like they need to get married."

"Oh, okay. But, if they love each other, why don't they ever say it?"

"What do you mean?"

"You and Mama say 'I love you' all the time. And Uncle Michael and Uncle Ben say it too. Even Gramma Debbie says it. But Daddy and Justin don't say it to each other."

"They don't need to, Gus. Next time you're at Daddy's house, or when you see them next, watch them. They say 'I love you' all the time, they just don't use those exact words."

Gus thought he understood, but maybe someone else had a different theory.

* * *

"Uncle Mikey?" he asked, the next time Lindsay brought him with her to the Diner.

He crouched down."Yeah, buddy?"

"Why don't Daddy and Justin get married?"

"They don't want to, Gus. Some people do, some people don't. Me and your Uncle Ben are married, but that doesn't mean your Daddy and Justin have to get married, too."

Gus frowned. "But then how do they know they'll love each other forever?"

"Buddy, you don't have to get married to know you'll love each other forever. They just know." He gestured towards his husband, who was sitting at a booth with Lindsay and Ted. "I knew before I married Uncle Ben that I would love him forever. Your Mommy and Mama knew before they were married that they'd love each other forever. Your Daddy and Justin know it, too."

"But then, how come they never say it to each other like you and Uncle Ben and Mommy and Mama and Gramma Debbie and Grampa Carl do? They don't say 'I love you' to each other."

"They don't have to. They say it when they look at each other. They say it when they hold hands or when they're talking. You probably can't hear it, but they can."

"What do you mean?"

"There are lots of ways of telling someone that you love them. Your Daddy and Justin say it to each other in a different way than Uncle Ben and I, or your Mommy and Mama, that's all. They don't have to say the words in order to say it to each other."

"Oh. I think I get it."

"You will one day. Now, Gramma Debbie is over there, and I think she has an ice cream sundae for you. So, you better go get it before she eats it."

* * *

Gus spent the weekend with his Daddy and Justin. They went to the movies and got hot cocoa from Starbucks (even though Daddy complained about the ridiculous amount of sugar) and Justin talked Daddy into driving around to see the Christmas lights hung up on all the houses. When they got home from their adventures, Justin popped Yellow Submarine into the VCR and the three of them cuddled on the couch to watch it.

When it was finally time to go to bed, Justin collected the now-empty popcorn bowl and headed into the kitchen with it. Gus and Brian headed into the bathroom to brush teeth and wash up.

"Daddy," Gus asked through a mouth full of white foam, "Why don't you and Justin get married?"

Brian stopped his movements and looked at his son contemplatively for a full three seconds before he reached out and ruffled Gus's hair.

"Spit and rinse and then I will tell you, okay?" Gus nodded and did as he was told. Brian knelt down to his son's level. "Justin and I haven't gotten married because we don't want to. It's just that we don't need to. Not everyone needs to get married. We're together forever and we know it."

"But how? How do you know? How do you make sure that Justin knows you're together forever? You guys never say 'I love you' to each other."

"We don't say those words much, no. But we know it. I love him, I do. And he definitely knows it. And I know that he loves me. Our actions tell each other that we love each other. Your mommies do it too, and so do Uncle Michael and Uncle Ben. I know you hate it when people say this, and I did too when I was little, but you'll understand when you're older."

"I hate that."

"I know." He stood up. "Anyway, kiddo, it's time for a story. Let's go pick something out."

"'Kay," Gus ran over to the little bookshelf newly installed beside the television, the bottom shelf of which held many children's books.

"Justin!" Brian called, "Go brush your teeth and get ready for bed, it's time for stories."

* * *

It didn't hit Gus until he was snuggled in between his Daddy and Justin, with the two adults taking turns at the voices in his book, that he realized he knew exactly what his Daddy was talking about.

He could see, out of the corner of his eye, his Daddy's hand on Justin's shoulder, fingers gently stroking back and forth. He knew that their other hands were linked together behind the binding of the book, holding it upright. He knew that earlier, when they were watching the movie, Justin's head had been on his Daddy's shoulder, and his Daddy had been running his fingers through Justin's hair, turning his head every once in a while to kiss him. He could sense when one turned to look at the other over his head, and he could feel the 'I love you's flying between them.

He didn't need to ask questions, all he had to do was watch. He thought of lunches in the Diner and nights at Gramma Debbie's house, and he remembered when Brian and Justin would look at each other, and it seemed they were having a silent conversation with their eyes. He remembered them cuddling together on the couch, or the kisses Justin gave Daddy when he came home.

Daddy and Justin didn't have to say "I love you" all the time, because they already knew it. And Gus could tell, as his father's big warm hand pulled him closer, that they loved him just as much.

**3.**

Gus ran out of the door and looked through the crowd for his parents. A white-blonde head caught his attention, and he could see his Daddy's smile as he bolted through the room to the group of family waiting for him.

"Daddy!" He launched himself at Brian.

"Hey, Gus, you did great!"

"Did I? Was I a good candy cane?"

"You were a great candy cane, Gus."

Gus beamed. He had a bigger part in this year's Christmas play than last, and was extremely proud.

"How about we all go to the Diner for hot cocoa?" Gramma Debbie suggested. Affirmative answers all around. They piled into their cars and headed off. Gus was practically bouncing with leftover energy until they got to the Diner. Then he remembered Kenny.

* * *

Gus stared contemplatively at the tabletop as he sipped his cocoa. Kenny was a few years older than he was, but he was mean and Gus didn't like him very much. He had made fun of Gus's friend Rose and made her cry. Gus had dealt with bullies before; being in a family like his made him an easy target, but it was mostly just people asking why he had two mommies and two daddies and lots and lots of uncles and so many relatives.

"Are you going to hell?" he asked suddenly. Blurting out his question seemed to be the only way to get past the confused block in his brain.

"What?" His Dads and Gramma asked.

"Kenny Divadlo, a kid at school, he said that you guys were going to hell because you're a boy who loves boys. He said that God hates gay people and that you're going to hell."

Brian and Justin stared at him. Gus watched his Daddy's face get that narrowed, angry look.

"That f—"

"No, Honey, they are not going to hell." Debbie answered quickly.

"Good. 'Cause that's what I told him. I said that God loves everyone and that he made people just the way they are and that bad people are the ones who go to hell, not people like Daddy and Justin, who love each other very much. And then I told him that maybe he would go to hell if he kept thinking that."

He glanced at his father. Brian's face held an expression of pride warring with amusement warring with anger. He reached across the table and ruffled Gus's hair affectionately.

"I'm proud of you, Sonnyboy. That was the right thing to say."

"Do you think I changed his mind?"

Justin smiled at him as Gus took another sip of his cocoa. "Maybe. Maybe you did."

**4.**

"I'll see you in a little bit. I gotta get off the phone, the roads are too icy to drive and talk. Oh, shit, and it just started snowing."

"I'm still pissed that your goddamn agent made you drive all the way out there just to make sure nothing was hung incorrectly. She could have just sent you some pictures."

"Are you kidding? Estelle just wants to make it difficult. She's an artist, she likes sadism."

Brian sighed. "Call me when you get into Pittsburgh, okay? I'll start dinner."

"Brian Kinney, cooking? Wow, I did change you."

"Shut up, you little shit, I cook."

"You microwave."

"I know how to cook!"

"Fine. Prove it to me. Show me your skills when I get home. Now, I need to get off the phone so I can drive properly."

"Later, then."

"Later."

Brian flipped his phone closed with a smile and leaned back in his chair. Just a week until Christmas, and he was happy. His family was here, his business was going great, and for once he had done all of the Christmas shopping himself, without Justin's help, and he had finished on time.

Pulling his lips into his mouth, he opened a new window and began to look on the internet for a new and interesting recipe he could use to prove to Justin that he could, in fact, cook a decent meal.

* * *

He was halfway through making his orange chicken and vegetables, along with some artichokes and sauvignon blanc, when the phone rang. He hoped it was Justin, then sighed. He was such a lesbian. Not that he minded much anymore.

"Hello?"

"May I speak to Mr. Brian Kinney?" A female voice inquired.

"Speaking."

"My name is Angela. I'm from the Greensburg medical hospital. You're the emergency contact for Mr. Justin Taylor. He's been in an auto accident."

"Is he all right?"

"He's in surgery."

"What? Why?"

"His left arm was broken and his appendix was damaged in the crash. He had to go into surgery to stop the bleeding and remove the organ."

"Shit. Shit shit shit shit. What hospital are you at again?"

"Greensburg."

"You know he had a head injury a few years ago, right?"

"Yes, it was on his medical card. His information says it doesn't seem that he hit his head in the crash."

"I-fuck!- I'll be there."

"Sir? Sir, he's only just gone into surgery. He won't be out for a while. They…they also have to set his arm again."

"Shit. All right. Thank you. Bye." He tossed the phone onto couch, grabbed his coat, keys, shoes, and was gone.

* * *

Brian had no idea how he got to Greensburg in just over an hour, even with all the snow and traffic. He slammed the car door and raced into the hospital, snow blowing in behind him. He could remember the last time he felt this way, and desperately tried to push it out of his mind.

"I'm here for Justin Taylor. I'm Brian Kinney, his partner."

"He's still in surgery, but I can take you to the waiting room by the surgery." He nodded and she headed down the hall. He followed, hands shaking, mind racing. The nurse sat him down and told him that a doctor would be out soon to tell him how things were going.

He pulled out his phone once she left, called Jennifer. Then Michael, Daphne and Debbie. He trusted Debbie to get the information out to whoever else needed to know. He wasn't sure exactly what he'd said on the phone to any of them, because his mind was preoccupied with memories, assumptions, what-ifs.

He could remember the last time he had felt this way. He'd been in a tux, covered in Justin's blood, feeling absolutely shattered. He remembered Jennifer's panicked face as she ran in, asking frantically about her son, remembered when Daphne came rushing in, still dressed in her gauzy peach gown, tears pouring down her face, and sat down beside him, clutching his right hand hard in both of hers.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting in the hard plastic chair, staring off into space, thinking, when a doctor in surgical scrubs came out of the door, smiling a little when he saw Brian sitting there.

"Here for Justin Taylor?"

"Yes." Brian thought irrationally that Jennifer should be here right now, that he should be in a tux and that the doctor should be a young man clearly shaken by the hatred of a violent act.

"He's doing fine. The surgery is going a little longer than originally thought, but he's stable and fine. Once we complete the removal of the appendix, we will have to re-set his left ulna."

"Will it hurt him?"

"He will be sedated. When he wakes up, his arm will be in some pain, but we will give him medication. I need to get back to him, but I wanted to give you an update."

"Thank you." The doctor nodded and retreated back into the room. Brian resumed staring at the floor.

His phone rang twenty minutes later.

"Hello?"

"Dad?"

"Hi, Sonnyboy."

"Mom told me about Justin. Is…is he gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, Gus. The doctor said he'll be all right. He's still in surgery."

"Dad, he knows I love him, right?"

A lump formed in Brian's throat as his son managed to voice what he had desperately tried not to think about. "Yeah. He knows, Gus."

"And, he's not just Justin, Dad. I never told him this, but I call him Papa in my head. I want him to know that."

Brian opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. His throat worked for a moment as he tried to push away the irrational fears that his son was bringing up in him. He shook his head and cleared his throat.

"He'll be fine, Gus. He's getting a little surgery. You can tell him that when he gets home. He'll be really really happy."

"You think he'll be okay?"

"He'll be fine. The doctor said he'll be fine. He's getting his appendix out and he broke his arm. It's not that bad."

"Okay. Just, tell him I love him."

"I will. I'll call you when he gets out, all right? Then you can talk to him yourself."

"All right."

"Later, Sonnyboy."

"Bye, Dad."

* * *

Justin opened his eyes slowly and blinked. The ceiling above him was tiled, with fluorescent lights dimmed and some water stains. This wasn't the loft he and Brian shared. A beeping noise filtered through his foggy brain and he shifted to look to his left. A heart monitor beeped away beside him. He felt a hand in his and looked to his right. Brian was asleep, his head on the bed beside Justin, his hand in Justin's, a tense expression on his face.

"Brian?" Justin squeezed his lover's hand. "Brian, wake up."

"What? Justin! Oh, you're awake. Let me call the nurse."

"Brian, I'm fine. Calm down. Kiss me first, then you can call the nurse."

With a small smile, Brian leaned down, cupping Justin's face gently, and kissed him. Justin deepened the kiss, and they stayed together, enjoying the feeling of the other's mouth, until a soft clearing of the throat brought them back to reality.

"Sorry, excuse me," a young nurse said, "I just have to check his vitals and everything now that Mr. Taylor is awake."

Brian nodded and sat back, watching Justin intently as the woman asked him questions to make sure his brain was working correctly, checked his temperature and pulse, made sure his eyes were working together, and checked the dressing and stitches on the incision on his stomach. Once she was gone, he brought his chair closer and took Justin's hand again.

"You scared the shit out of me, you know."

"Sorry. You know me. I like to get into trouble."

"Just stop getting hurt. I don't mind the trouble part, you know I like trouble. I mind the injury part."

"I'll try."

"I'm just glad you're okay."

"Merry Christmas. This is your present, an alive boyfriend."

"Fuck you. Some present that is."

"It is. It's quite the present. Now get over here." He patted the mattress beside him. Brian moved to squeeze onto the tiny bed, shifting Justin gently until Brian lay behind him, with Justin's head on his chest.

Brian nuzzled his face into Justin's hair, breathing in deeply, the scent of his lover's shampoo overpowering the scent of hospital sanitizer and sick. "I'm glad you're okay, Sunshine. I don't ever want to lose you. I love you."

He felt Justin's gentle sigh as the blonde relaxed against him and Brian wrapped his arms around him. They fell asleep together, listening to each other breathe.

**5.**

Justin was sprawled on the couch on his belly, flipping through a photo album. Brian sat at his desk nearby, clicking away at his computer.

"Jesus Christ, why did Emmett take a photo of this?"

"What?"

"Me, when I was an idiot and decided to gogo dance for money. He took a photo of me at the Angel Ball."

"You were cute."

"I'm sure you thought so at the time."

"Let me see." Brian walked over and shoved Justin's hips sideways so that he could sit beside him on the couch. "You were fucking cute. Especially with those wings. Why anyone ever thought you were an angel, I have no idea."

Justin turned the page.

"Oh, hey. The first cover of Rage. Well, the first printed one."

"Who made this book, anyway?"

"The girls made it for me. They gave it to me for Christmas a few years ago. I guess they found a bunch of photos around and decided I should have them. Mel told me they put theirs in and then decided to see if anyone else had photos and things I would want."

"How come I didn't know about this?"

"Because they all think you hate sentimentality, Brian. However, I know better. But they didn't think you'd approve."

"Hmm."

They flipped through some more photos. Brian was about to get up and go back to his computer when Justin pointed at a picture, tapping it gently.

"I remember this. Mel and Lindsay's anniversary thing."

"Mmhmm. I remember it too." Brian's tone was dry. All he could remember was the fact that Justin had been there with that slimeball Ian.

"Brian…" Justin's voice was tentative. "That was the only time I've ever seen you hit anyone. Why did you punch Michael? He was your best friend."

"I don't want to talk about it."

Justin sat up and looked pointedly at his boyfriend.

"Brian. It's been years. Just…I want to know. I've never seen you hit anyone, I didn't think you were even capable of hitting Michael. He must have said something really bad for you to hit him."

"Justin…" Brian looked out the window.

Justin put his hand on Brian's knee. "Please?"

Brian sighed and shook his head, then looked back at Justin with an inward expression.

"He was pissed off that you'd left me for the fiddler. I told him that we never had any locks on our doors, but he just kept ranting at me, calling you a selfish little shit and telling me that you used me and all this stuff. I told him to shut the fuck up, but then…shit!"

"What?"

"I can remember exactly what he said and it still pisses me off. I just... He said that I shouldn't have saved your life. He said I should have just left you lying there. Fucking asshole. It just…so soon after and I just couldn't…"

"Brian, it's all right."

"What the fuck? It is not all right. We may have not been together, but that doesn't mean I wanted you fucking dead or anything!"

"I know. I know that. But it's okay. Michael was just looking out for you. I'd hurt you, and you know he hates seeing you hurt. I know he didn't like me very much those first few years, but it's all right. Brian, listen. Michael doesn't think before he speaks. He means well. He loves you, he loves all of us, and he tries his hardest to take care of us and everything. But sometimes I think he just gets it wrong. But it's okay. He was just trying to make sure you wouldn't get hurt again. He was just looking out for you."

Brian hooked his hand around the back of Justin neck and gently pulled him closer, kissing his lover's forehead.

"Justin Taylor, you amaze me. I don't think I would have ever forgiven Michael if I was you."

"Well then I guess it's a good thing you're not me."

"I guess it is. Because I want you to keep on amazing me. You're such a better man than I am sometimes."

"And you're a better man than me sometimes, so I guess it balances out."

"Finally, I've found my equal."

"Brian, I think we were equal the moment we met. Nobody else kept up with you that long."

"And no one else stuck around for eleven years."

"That too."

"Which is why you definitely need to stay, Sunshine. For at least eleven more years."

"I plan to stick around forever, Brian."

"Good."

**6.**

"Tell me again why we're going to the mall? On a Saturday. Less than a week before Christmas. Are you trying to kill me?"

"Calm down, Brian. I need to buy something for Molly. She didn't tell me she was coming to our Christmas dinner until two days ago and I don't usually buy her a present until after Christmas because I don't usually see her until Easter."

"Wait, so, let me get this straight. You shop for your sister's Christmas present in February?"

"Yeah. I don't see her at Christmas because she usually goes to Craig's for Christmas. And I don't give her a present until I see her, and I don't see her until Easter, so I don't give her a present until Easter."

"Jesus, you're confusing."

"Thank you. Now come on. We're here."

"I just hope I survive. If I die, give Michael my treadmill. He needs it."

Justin had to practically drag Brian through the parking lot and into the mall. Brian cringed as they stepped through the doors, wincing at the chaotic chatter, the screaming children, the decidedly unpleasant smell of food that he'd probably get fat just looking at.

"Oh, get over it."

"You're a slave driver. A torturer. An evil mastermind."

"If you're gonna keep complaining, I'll lock you in the car. Don't worry, I'll be sure to crack the windows so you don't suffocate."

"Haha, very funny."

"I know, I'm hilarious. All we have to do is go to The Body Store, and then we can get out of here."

"The Body Store. Kinky."

"Shut up, Brian. It sells lotion and soap and stuff like that. My mom says Molly loves that place. You should be happy we're going there instead of The Gap. You like that shit too."

"No, I don't."

"Right. Says the man with French anti-aging cream worth a hundred bucks a tube."

Brian sighed, crossing his arms. Justin bit his lip to keep from smiling at the childish pout on his lover's face. He set of in the direction of The Body Store, with Brian trailing behind like a put-off three year old, dragging his feet and sighing loudly at ten-second intervals.

When he finally got there, Brian was following behind him, walking about two inches away, practically stepping on his feet, every sigh louder and louder. Justin spun around in the doorway to the store, grabbed Brian by the shoulders and pushed him over to a corner.

He shoved his finger in his boyfriend's face. "You stand there. Don't whine, don't complain, don't pick a fight with an employee, don't start criticizing the clothes or haircut or shoe choices of the patrons. Just stand here like a good boy, all right? If you fuck up, you'll have to ask your hand for a favor for a few days. And if you don't fuck up, I'll give you a present when we get home. Okay?"

Brian sighed, pouting again. "Fine."

"Good." Justin smiled, then turned and walked away, wiggling his ass just a little to remind Brian of what was waiting if he behaved.

Brian watched his blonde ringmaster wander off into the depths of the store. He folded his arms and slouched against the wall. It was apparent to anyone who looked at him that he had been forced here by his significant other, and he did _not_ want to be here.

Well, almost anyone.

"Sir? Sir, would like some help picking out gifts?"

Brian opened his mouth for a bitchy reply, then snapped it closed again when he remembered Justin's threat. He sighed. "Um, sure."

"I'm Janine. What would she like?"

"Who?"

"Your wife. That's who you're buying for, right?"

Brian had to keep from laughing when an image of Justin in a sun dress and a big, floppy, flower-laden hat came unbidden into his mind.

"Yes, yes, of course. Um, well, I'm not sure."

"All right then, I'll just show you around, and maybe you'll find something she'll like."

Brian nodded, trying to keep a serious face as the woman trotted proudly off like a little kid ushering a school play. He followed behind her, trying his hardest to hide behind whatever displays were available, hoping no one he knew saw him.

"…And this cream will keep her skin soft for hours. We have it in honey-scented, lavender, orange cream and cucumber and green tea."

Brian looked at the pink and purple bottles lining the shelves and a smile spread across his face.

"I think she'd probably like the honey one."

"All right." Janine plucked the pink bottle off the shelf and proceeded along the wall. Brian smirked, following her, now listening intently.

* * *

When Justin came out of the back of the store after talking for a long time to a sales associate to get the perfect gift, Brian was standing in the same spot he'd left him, the same petulant, annoyed look on his face. He kissed the big baby on the cheek.

"Were you good?"

"Yes. I was good. At least, I was good by your definition of good."

"Good."

"Can we stop saying the word 'good'?"

"Yes."

"Can we go now?"

"Yes to that, too."

"Jesus Christ, Sunshine. You've got me fucking whipped."

"Kinky. And nice of you to admit that."

"You're welcome. Now can I have my present?"

"When we get home."

"Good, because I have a present for you, too."

"Really now, and what is that?"

Brian snickered, thinking of all the obnoxiously pink, flowery shit he had in a bag in the car. "You'll see."

**7.**

"Brian, calm down, just-just wait until we get inside." Justin panted as Brian pawed at him, kissing whatever exposed skin he could find.

"Why? We have Christmas Eve alone. We should celebrate our own way."

"We will, but I need to be able to at least walk inside." He groped blindly and slid the lift open, tumbling them out against the door to the loft. Brian's tongue found its way into his mouth as the taller man unlocked the door without even looking and they stumbled inside.

"You've had too much practice doing that."

"I know. It's handy though, isn't it?"

"Yes, now look up."

Brian did. Above them, just inside the doorway, hung a sprig of mistletoe. With a grin, he swooped down on his lover, hands cupping his ass as he hoisted Justin into the air. Justin wrapped his legs around Brian's waist, grinding his cock against Brian's stomach as they headed into the bedroom, where he was dumped unceremoniously onto the bed.

With a growl, Brian wrapped his hands around Justin's wrists, pressing his hands into the mattress as he attacked Justin's right nipple with his tongue, making the blonde arch up against the warm wetness. He scraped his teeth along Justin's chest as he moved to his other nipple, sucking on the nub until it hardened and Justin was groaning beneath his ministrations.

Brian released Justin's hands as he moved lower, letting Justin clench his fingers in Brian's hair as he swirled his tongue inside his navel.

"Jesus fucking Christ."

Brian's tongue made its way hotly down Justin's body, lapping down to his thighs, where Brian gave quick, pinching nips as Justin bucked up to be closer to his mouth.

"Brian, please. _Please_."

He sighed and gave into his lover's request. Running his tongue lightly along the vein on the underside of Justin's cock, he flicked it softly against the frenulum, producing a groan from his blonde lover. With a small chuckle, he took the head into his mouth, suckling gently before sliding all the way down to the base of Justin's cock, swallowing a bit as he breathed in the thick scent of Justin. Then he pulled off again and moved up to kiss Justin's chest.

As he moved up, Brian felt legs wrapping around the middle of his body, and barely had time to gasp as Justin flipped them over.

"Didn't think I'd get you back, did you, Big Guy?" Justin whispered huskily in his ear, nipping gently at the pulse just below.

He ground his cock against Brian's eliciting a moan from both of them, then a hiss from Brian as Justin ran a fingernail over his nipple.

Justin's skillful mouth engulfed Brian's cock in one go, Brian groaning loudly as Justin undulated his tongue against the thick vein. Then he pulled off and tongued the slit gently, groaned when he tasted Brian's precum on his tongue. Brian was cursing above him, hands clenching and unclenching in Justin's hair, pressing him down on his cock, chest heaving, hairline dark with sweat. Justin swallowed twice against Brian's dick, then pulled off.

"Jesus Christ I hate you."

"No you don't, you love me." Justin reached across to the nightstand, snagging a condom and rolling it down onto Brian's cock, then found the lube and slicked his lover's cock and then himself. With a smirk, he positioned himself above Brian and lowered himself slowly onto him, groaning at the stretch and burn that felt so deliciously good.

Brian thrust up against him, groaning as Justin squeezed around his cock, hooking a hand around the back of Justin's neck and tugging him closer to plunder his mouth with his tongue.

Justin's thighs burned as he raised and lowered himself on Brian, his hips giving an involuntary twitch as long fingers wrapped themselves around his cock.

"Fucking hell…" he pressed down harder on Brian, feeling the tightly coiled pleasure moving slowly down his spine.

Brian flicked a thumb over the head of Justin's dick, smoothing precum across the flushed skin.

"Come for me, Justin," Brian's voice was gravelly and raw, and Justin bore down on Brian's cock, seeing stars at he let himself go, spurting hot sticky ropes across his and Brian's chests as Brian pulled him close to kiss him. Justin groaned as he felt the hot pulse of Brian's spunk filling the condom, deepening the kiss for a moment before Brian slid gently out of him, tossing the condom away and sliding his arms around the blonde.

"Merry Christmas, Sunshine."

Justin laughed. "Merry Christmas, indeed. By the way, look up again."

Brian opened his eyes and glanced up. Above them hung about a dozen sprigs of mistletoe.

"I think you overdid it, Sunshine."

Justin grinned up at his lover, snuggling closer to the warm body beside him. "No, I didn't. It was perfect."

**8.**

Gus woke to the soft sounds of snow hitting the window beside the pull-out couch he slept on at the Loft. He sat up and grinned as he looked at the whiteness covering the street below.

"Morning, Sonnyboy." Brian's voice called. Gus looked over. His Dad and Papa Justin were sitting at the table eating breakfast.

"Want some toast?" Papa Justin asked. Gus smiled and jumped off the couch.

"Sure."

"So, I was thinking," Justin said as he popped the bread in the toaster and plunked a jar of jam down in from of Gus. "Maybe we could go out and make some snowmen and stuff. Like we used to do when you were younger."

"Maybe. I guess." Gus felt a little reluctant. He loved playing out in the snow, but sometimes he felt like it was too much of a baby thing.

Justin put his hands on Brian's shoulders and leaned down, whispering in his ear. Gus wasn't sure what he said, but it sounded like something about a house. Brian nodded.

"Why don't we go out and make snowmen, Gus? You're never too old for that. Anyway, we have something to show you."

"All right."

* * *

"Brian, slow down."

"Justin, I've driven this road plenty of times. I know how fast to go and I know where I'm going."

"Ugh. All right."

"Cheer up, Sunshine. Jesus. I'm taking you to Britin. Shouldn't I at least get a smile?" Brian raised his eyebrows. "I should get a little more than that," he muttered under his breath, and Justin smacked him gently on the shoulder.

"Your son's in the back seat, you know."

"Mmhmm. Shut up now, okay? We're almost there."

They turned down another street and drove a little ways until they rounded a bend. Gus stared open-mouthed at the huge mansion before him.

"Woah. Holy…Dad, what is this place?"

"It's a house."

"Who owns it, I mean."

"We do."

"Who's we?"

"Justin and I. I bought it for him a long time ago. You wouldn't remember. Right before you left to live in Canada, I asked Justin to marry me. I bought him this house. It's called Britin. He gave it the cheesy name, not me. Ow!" He rubbed his ribs where Justin had elbowed him.

"Let's get out of the car and I'll show you around, Gus." Justin suggested.

Gus was out like a shot, Justin following just as fast. Brian smiled to himself as he watched his boys race around the house, Justin explaining each of the rooms, then nearly had a heart attack when they decided to slide down the banister of the stairs. Soon they were racing outside again, and Brian followed, just watching happily until a snowball hit him full in the face.

"Oof! Hey!"

Justin's cackle taunted him as the blonde danced away. With a playful growl, Brian gather up a ball of snow and chased after his sneaky lover, finally catching him and shoving the handful of freezing snow down the back of Justin's jacket. This prompted a full-fledged snowball fight, complete with snow forts and guerilla warfare, until they finally called truce and traipsed back into the house to lie in a heap beside the fire.

"You bought this house for Papa Justin when I was five?" Gus asked after staring into the fire for a good long while.

"Yeah."

"And you asked him to marry you?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you guys get married, then?"

Justin sighed a little. "It's complicated, Gus."

"Will you explain it to me? Just try. Please?"

Brian scooted over until he had arm around Justin, the other keeping him propped up so he could look at his son.

"I didn't know I was going to propose to Justin. I mean, I didn't plan it out for months or anything. You know I own the dance club on Liberty Avenue, Babylon?"

"Yeah."

"It didn't used to look the way it does now. About a month or so before I bought this place, a bunch of right-wing idiots were trying to pass a law that would make it so gay people couldn't get married or adopt kids or have money together or anything in Pennsylvania. It was called Proposition 14. The people working against it were trying to raise money and everything to get support. So I gave them the club in order to have a fundraiser. Uncle Michael and Uncle Ben were there, and Emmett and Ted and Justin and everyone. I….wasn't there. In the middle of the fundraiser, someone set off a bomb. I heard about it over the radio and turned around. Everyone in our family was there, so I had to get over to them."

Gus watched as Justin sat up and scooted backward, tugged on Brian until the brunette was practically lying across his lap. Justin's fingers stroked across Brian's scalp.

"Anyway, when I got there, it was chaos. The only person I could think of was Justin, but I couldn't find him, he wasn't outside the club. So I ran inside and I found him and he was okay. But I had to leave him because Uncle Mikey was hurt and I wanted to go to the hospital to make sure he was okay. He had to get surgery, but he was okay. I went back to the club and I found Justin and I finally told him that I loved him."

"You didn't tell him before?"

Justin chuckled. "He never said it out loud before. He thought he had me fooled. But I've always been on to him, so I knew before he said it."

"And then a few days later, I asked him to marry me. And he turned me down. Said I wasn't rich enough."

"Oh, shut up. I did not!"

"You said you wanted a country manor with stables and a pool."

"I was being sarcastic. Sort of."

"Anyway, I heard what he said, and I bought it for him. And then I asked him to marry me again and he said yes."

"But you didn't get married?"

"We almost did. But then we decided we weren't ready. Anyway, Justin was about to move to New York. And we decided that we didn't need marriage to prove that we loved each other, because we already know."

"Did you buy rings and everything?"

Brian laughed. "Yeah. And everything. We still have it all."

Justin rolled his eyes. "And you said you don't like romance." He reached under his collar and pulled out a golden ring on a strong gold chain. Pulling it over his head, he handed it to Gus.

"We decided we weren't going to get married, but we didn't need to waste the rings. You're the only one who knows that we kept them, Gus."

"It's a secret?" He peered at the gold ring, squinting to read the inscription on the inside: _It's only time_. Justin and Brian had had that inscribed on both of their rings when Justin had come back from New York for good.

"Yeah."

"I promise I won't tell."

Justin nodded "Good. Now, who's up for some snowman building and stuff?"

Gus and Brian both jumped to their feet and ran to get their snow gear back on. Justin laughed at his lover and his miniature copy. Brian winked at him. "In the trunk of the car. Go check it out while I get him bundled up."

Justin nodded and headed into the garage. In the trunk of the car was a brand new sketchbook, and an expensive combination set of pencils, charcoals and pastels. Justin smiled and put on warm clothes, took the supplies outside where Brian and Gus were building a snow man, set his things out on the porch and sat down to draw the scenes of his family.

**9.**

Brian was stretched out on the couch, eyes closed, a glass of Beam in hand, when he felt a presence beside him. He opened one eye. Gus stared down at him, a serious expression on his face.

"Dad?"

"Hmm?"

"Where's Papa Justin?"

"He's in his studio. He was inspired by some random shit on the TV."

"Okay. Dad? Can I talk to you?"

Brian sat up. "Yeah, Sonnyboy. What's up?"

"I know it's probably totally cool and everything, but I wanted to…well…I just wanted to talk to you before I talked to the Moms."

Brian raised an eyebrow. "Okay. So what did you want to talk about."

Gus sighed. "I…I think I'm gay."

Brian sat back against the couch for a moment and took a drink of his Beam.

"Dad?"

Brian smiled. "That's great, Gus. Really, it is. I'm proud of you. C'mere." And Brian did something that his father had never, ever done for him. He hugged his son tight. "You know I'd love you no matter what, Gus. No matter what."

"'Kay."

They stayed in an embrace for a little while, Brian rubbing Gus's back when his son's breath hitched a bit, then calmed. Then Brian began to chuckle.

"What's funny, Dad?"

"This is gonna be some Christmas present for your Moms." He grinned. "I think I owe Debbie fifty bucks."

"You bet Gramma I was gonna be straight?"

"I never back down from a challenge."

Gus rolled his eyes dramatically. "Are you gonna tell Papa Justin?"

"Not unless you want me to."

"I guess I'll tell him myself."

"All right. Do you—do you want me to be there when you tell your Moms?"

"I think I'll tell them myself. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow."

"I wish you good luck. Tell Melanie merry Christmas."

Gus smiled at him. "She's gonna hate you even more, you know. She wanted me to be straight, I think."

"It would be less of a hassle, but I honestly don't think you had a chance."

"Neither do I."

"Should I count this as an early Christmas present?"

"If you want. But you do know I'm still buying you an actual present."

"Damn."

"Admit it, Dad. You love getting presents."

Brian crossed his arms and looked away.

"Admit it," Gus sang.

"Fine. I admit it. I do like getting presents."

"I knew it!" Gus punched the air with a fist. "Well, your first present then, is that I am proud to be who I am."

Brian didn't even try to hide his smile.

**10.**

"Justin? Can you come over? Gus wont talk to us. Since Brian's away, you're our only hope." Lindsay's pleading voice sounded even more plaintive through the speaker of the phone.

"Yeah, I'll be there in a bit." Justin hung up and rolled his eyes. Brian was on a business trip in Oregon, so he was the current rescue gay for the newest Gus drama. He bundled up and headed out.

* * *

"Gus?" Justin knocked on the teenager's door. "It's me."

"Yeah?"

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah."

He ventured inside, shutting the door behind him. Gus was sitting on his bed, his head on his knees. Justin sat on the foot of the bed, facing the boy.

"What's wrong?"

"Papa, can I ask you some questions?"

"Sure."

"About being gay and stuff."

"Sure. Whatever you want. I'm here to help, Gus."

"When—when did you first know?"

Justin sighed. "I think I knew when I was very young. I didn't like the same things most boys did. I didn't think girls had cooties or anything, and when I got older, I wasn't attracted to them the way other guys around me were. I think I really realized it, though, when I got into high school. I was attracted to a few guys in my classes. And then I met your dad, and well, I definitely knew I was gay once I met him."

Gus chuckled a bit. "What did you do about it?"

"Well, I pretty much was okay with myself. But I was scared of my parents finding out. I didn't know what they would do."

"But Gramma Jenn is so cool."

"Yeah, she is. She almost wasn't, but Gramma Debbie talked to her and stuff. My dad, though. He didn't like it. I don't talk to him anymore. He disowned me and everything."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"Can I….ask you more personal questions?"

"Gus, if you think it will help you, I'm an open book."

"What was your…first time…like?"

Justin smiled reassuringly at Gus. He was honest about the open book thing. If Gus wanted to know something, he would tell it. He just wanted to help Gus in anyway possible.

"I think I was luckier than a lot of guys. I, well…I did a really dumb thing. I went to Liberty Avenue to look for an adventure, for someone to give me a first time. That's not a good idea. It's dangerous. And didn't realize that. But luckily, your Dad picked me up." He nodded. "Yeah, I know. No one told you that Brian was my first time. Brian was my first everything. I was definitely luckier than most guys. Anyway, he was really gentle. He knew it was my first time, and he took it slowly. He also made sure to use a condom. I'm sure you know how adamant he is about that. But he was sweet, and gentle, and really very kind, especially since we were complete strangers."

"You didn't know him at all?"

"No. Like I said, I was an idiot. It was a dangerous thing I did, and I don't want to hear of you doing anything like it. I know what your father would say, but I say do as I say not as I do."

"All right."

"Gus, listen to me. If you ever have any questions, any at all, that your moms can't answer, come talk to me or your dad. I'll answer any question at all, and, know your dad, I'm pretty sure he will too."

"All right."

"And listen. I know it sounds embarrassing, but next time you come to the loft, I'll give you an early Christmas present. It's a book called The Manual For Men Who Love Men. It will answer a lot of your questions. Your Grandpa Vic gave it to me when I was living with him and Gramma Debbie, back when I was your age."

"Okay. Thanks for, you know, answering me."

"Any time, Gus. Really. Now, I have to go because your silly father is so clingy, he cant live a day without seeing my pretty face."

"Very funny."

"No, really. He wants to talk over Skype in half an hour or so." Justin rolled his eyes. "He just left yesterday!"

"You guys are so funny."

"I'm pretty sure we know it. Come over this weekend, when he gets back. I can give you that book, and if you have any more questions, you can ask us then, okay?"

"All right. Thanks Papa."

"No problem, Gus. Merry Christmas and I'll see you this weekend."

* * *

As Justin left the house, he sighed. Crisis averted. And he was glad to hear that Gus was asking questions, that he wasn't venturing off on his own. And he was happy that Gus had a family that was so open about sex, and so open about sexuality and love and being whoever anyone wanted to be. He felt pride in the fact that Gus could grow up in a family as warm and accepting as the people he'd surrounded himself with. A surrogate family that felt closer and more loving than any biology could possibly create.

**11.**

Déjà vu ran through Brian's veins as he lay on the couch, staring up at his son's serious face.

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I talk to you?"

Brian sat up. "Sure, Sonnyboy. What's up?"

"Well, there's a guy at school. His name's Kyle. He's in my English class and we hang out a lot. Mom and Mama have met him but I don't think you have."

"Okay."

"Kyle's gay too. And we really liked each other as friends at first, but now…I think I love him, Dad. And we're dating."

"Oh, a boyfriend." Brian raised his eyebrows. "Okay."

"You're not mad?"

"Why would I be? Justin was the same age as you when he met me. I really don't think I should be pissed. It would be kind of hypocritical of me."

"I thought you'd be pissed."

"Nope. Gus, it's okay. Just, sit down for a second." Gus sat beside him. "Gus, I want you to listen to me. I gave this same talk to Justin when he was your age. Granted, the circumstances were a bit different, but it's pretty much the same. I want you to always use a condom. Carry them in your wallet, pocket, backpack, car, whatever. Just always have one with you. Absolutely never fuck anyone without a condom. It isn't safe, it isn't smart, and it is definitely not cool. If you get an STD or whatever, come to me, I'll help you, don't be embarrassed or anything. If you don't know what something is, don't do it, don't use it, don't mess with it. I'm gonna say the same thing I said to Justin; I want you safe, and I want you around for a long time."

"I…thanks, Dad."

"You're seventeen, Gus. It's all right for you to be making your own decisions. Your Papa certainly was at your age. Hell, he wasn't even living with his parents. He was living with Debbie. Well, no, he was living with me even though he was supposed to be living with Debbie. Semantics. Whatever."

"Someday you'll have to give me the full story of you guys."

"Yeah, not yet, big guy. Maybe when you're twenty-one."

"Right. Sure, Dad."

"I want to meet this Kyle. I wont scare him off. Justin and I wont have sex on the kitchen table or anything in front of you, I promise. I just want to tell him to take good care of my son and all that shit that's supposed to embarrass you."

"Okay. Maybe we'll come over on Friday or something. Like I said, Dad, thanks."

"Just so long as you're safe, Sonnyboy, everything's fine with me."

**12.**

"God, at least you woke up this time." Justin griped as he and Brian stood together under the spray of the shower.

"Yeah, in time to fuck you and still get there early."

"You know, I thought sexual appetites were supposed to wane as people got older."

"You should know by now that we're the exception to most assumed problems." Brian countered before pinning Justin against the glass and swooping down for a kiss.

* * *

"Merry Christmas!" Debbie's voice screeched in Justin's ear as she squeezed him tight in her customary suffocating embrace.

"Merry Christmas, Deb."

"So, everyone, presents first and then eat, or eat first and then presents?"

Lindsay shrugged. "Presents first, I think. Since Gus and Jenny don't get up early anymore, we kind of had a late breakfast."

"I agree with her." Brian nodded, then flopped onto the couch in his usual nonchalant manner.

As usual, Debbie played Santa Claus, handing out gifts from under the tree. Justin got new paint brushes, a new Gus Bear, a new iPod to replace the one he had dropped in paint. Gus grinned when Debbie pulled out a small, flat present wrapped in shining gold paper, labeled _To: Dad From: Gus_. Gus took it from her and held it out to his dad.

"I know you don't like giant sentimental presents, but I thought you might like to have this one as a Christmas present."

Brian gently opened the thin present, pulling out a stack of papers inside. Déjà vu washed over him.

"What is it?"

Gus grinned. "Princeton offered me a writing scholarship, Dad." Brian looked up, eyebrows raised, a smile beginning on his face. "I haven't even finished my senior year of high school and Princeton is already offering me a scholarship!"

Brian stood up and enveloped his son in a hug. "I had a feeling you were gonna be a successful man, Sonnyboy."

"Congratulations, Gus, that's wonderful," Justin exclaimed.

Brian hugged his son hard. "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, Dad."

"No, thank you, Gus. For finally doing something good with Kinney genes."

"I feel like I need to say something like Tiny Tim. 'God bless us, every one,' or something like that," Gus laughed.

"Way to kill the moment." Brian ruffled his son's hair and sat back down on the couch. "But really, congratulations, Gus. I really am proud of you. I don't think I could have imagined a better Christmas present."

Gus smiled and sat down between his Dad and his Papa Justin, smiling as he watched his family enjoying the holidays, laughter and light within them all. He felt a warmth within him as he sat there, surrounded by the ones he loved.


End file.
